i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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