Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wish there were birth control emojis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
