didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
one two three fourrrrnication!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
