whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
