I wish I only lived at night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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