I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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