um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
