she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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