A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
