went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
