Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize