come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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