Its about making memories worth repressing
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
