If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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