Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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