Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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