I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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