You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
