Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
