He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
