I'm really into asian looking animals
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
