there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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