It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
