maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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