I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
