mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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