nut hugger
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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