the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
