What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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