one might say we're banned from that church
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
