I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I bet he comes in French.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
