if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
