I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
