I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
