Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
