our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
