and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and itβs skill. Iβm interested in learning more about it ;-)
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