They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize