They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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