wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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