Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
