We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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