Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We have started to decorate penises.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize