AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
