At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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