I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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