If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
