just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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