ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
