babies were throwing up all over the place
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i out mim tonsoeep
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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