i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
