Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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