i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize