I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize