the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
