I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
