How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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