yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
