Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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